The First 40

This year I'm going to turn 40 years old. Wow.

I'm not nervous about it or anything, but it does make me a bit reflective for some reason; specifically I'm reflecting on what the hell I've been doing for the past 40 years. Something tells me I'm really just getting started in this life though, which makes these 40 years seem like a colossal waste of time.

Of course it hasn't been a waste and really what is a "waste" anyway? My definition of "waste of time" might be totally different from yours. But I think we've become so used to (addicted to really) judging ourselves and others that we simply can't let Life just Be anymore. We almost can't let ourselves just Be because we're too busy "Becoming" something. Honestly, I find it all quite exhausting.

My favorite game as a child was "the dream game." I would pretend to fall asleep outside, preferably under a comfy hedge, and then wake up and fly around as if in my parallel universe where I could do and be anything I wanted. Tells you something about what my 5 year old consciousness was experiencing even then: Limitation. The bane of the Human experience.

Today one of my favorite things to do is simply stare out into Nature. Specifically I just love to look at trees. They are such amazing creatures, trees. Such an amazing expression of Life. They don't struggle, they don't ask inane never-ending questions of themselves like, "What sort of tree should I be? or 'How tall should I grow?' or 'How much should I eat?" They just exist and grow according to their nature and the circumstances around them. They are always expressing themselves to their fullest possibility. And it is enough. It is perfect.